A contested divorce, i.e., one in which you and your spouse do not agree on all the terms, is more common than an uncontested divorce. When matters related to child custody or property division are more complex, contested divorce becomes more likely. 

Fortunately, a contested divorce does not necessarily require litigation in court. It is possible to resolve the matter through mediation, which is typically less expensive, less contentious and takes less time. Here is a description of what happens in divorce mediation and how you and your spouse can benefit from it. 

What happens during mediation?

A third party called a mediator presides over the process. According to SF Gate, you and your spouse choose your own mediator, and his or her job is to facilitate communication between you and your spouse in the interest of coming to an agreement. 

However, this does not require all parties to be together in the same room. Instead, you and your spouse may be in separate rooms, and the mediator will literally act as a go-between, moving back and forth between one room and the other to relay communications between you and your spouse. 

Why is this of benefit?

Divorce involves considering a number of material matters. However, the process can also stir up a lot of painful emotions that can make it difficult to focus on these matters. Sometimes it is necessary to create some literal space between you and your spouse to separate the process from the emotions surrounding it. 

When your mediator asks you and your spouse to go to separate rooms and reports your spouse’s communications to you, it can help to take the emotional charge out of the proceedings. As a result, you can think more clearly and concretely.