It is common knowledge that divorce has negative social and psychological consequences for children. Children from toddlers all the way up to high schoolers and college-age young adults can absolutely struggle with the news that their parents want to divorce. Acting out, poor grades and even depression can impact children whose parents divorce.
Given that divorce can be hard on kids, there are parents out there who choose to stay in unhappy or even abusive relationships because they think they are protecting their children. However, psychological research indicates that staying in a marriage just for your kids isn’t the best solution.
Children know when their loved ones are unhappy
You might think that you don’t show your kids how unhappy you are, but the chances are good that they have already noticed. Children may hear you arguing at night and not mention it the next day, hoping that the whole situation could blow over.
They may notice the angry way that you and your ex speak to one another or how you don’t kiss and hug in front of the children the way you did previously. They might even feel embarrassed if you constantly fight in social settings.
Essentially, your children already know that you are happy, and that knowledge could impact how happy and safe they feel. Getting a divorce may be hard but it may create a safer and calmer home environment for your kids.
Your kids will model their future relationship after what they learn at home
If there was ever one good reason to end an unhappy marriage and seek a better relationship it’s probably the fact that your children learn by the example you set. Don’t teach your children to compromise their happiness or tolerate mistreatment.
Getting a divorce and pursuing a healthier, happier relationship later or just showing that you can have a beautiful life while single can teach your children much more valuable lessons than simply sticking with a terrible marriage because you feel like you should.
Your kids will bounce back after the divorce
While the divorce will have a verifiable impact on your children, they will begin healing once they know what’s happening. Living in an unhappy home can result in thousands of tiny traumas that never end. The trauma of divorce will eventually be over, which means your kids can start healing and moving on with their lives.